The Church Smile

Smiles are wonderful things. They can brighten another person's day. They also add to our appearance. Look in the mirror, don't smile, just look. How do you feel about the person you're looking at? Now, don't move, look into the mirror and smile. Now how do you feel about the person you're looking at? My guess is that you like the person with the smile better than the person without the smile. So we've added another benefit to the smile. It makes the person on the receiving end feel better, and it enhances your appearance. And best of all, it's free. Move a couple of facial muscles, and there you go: a smile.

And not all smiles are the same. There's the family smile. It's warm, authentic, evoked with hardly a thought. Then there's the business or workplace smile. It's almost natural, but at times takes a little effort to put on, and while most of the time it is sincere, that's not always the case. And the business smile likes to be smiled at in return. It's a sign of acceptance. One's job is secure for another day. Then there's the social smile, which can be broken down into two groups. The formal social smile is the one you wear at an event where there are probably more people you don't know than you do know. There the smile is politely given to more people than you'd really care to smile at, and not smiling almost ensures you won't be invited to the event again. That's a positive or negative outcome, depending on your willingness to attend in the first place. The second is the informal social smile: that's where you attend an event with friends or family. There you can be relaxed and at ease. The smiles are born out of affection or sheer happiness at seeing someone you haven't seen in a long time. Most of these smiles are returned as given.

Now we come to the last category of smile. The church smile, which is the most complicated smile of them all. You know the one I'm talking about. It's the smile you have when you're walking down the hall on your way to Sunday school, and it's the same smile you have when you walk down the aisle in the sanctuary. And it's unlike the previous smiles we've talked about, because those are intermittent. They come and go depending on the people you see and the conversations you might have. But the church smile is, for all intents and purposes, permanent. It's plastered on your face from the minute you leave your car and head toward the church building.

You smile at the greeters, people who may be walking alongside you, church members you don't really know. Then you walk inside the church and there are all kinds of people going to and fro, each with a smile on their face, and so you smile at them, and before you know it you're in a world where everyone is smiling at everyone. What a wonderful place, you would think. But you know that's not really the case.

Yes, the church ought to be the most wonderful place on earth. A place where there is true happiness, peace, and love. Who wouldn't smile upon entering such a place? But the truth is, the church smile might be the most insincere smile of them all.

In the workplace one might smile at their boss, not because they're really happy to see them, but well, you know, appearances and all that. And the same could be said of social events. One may smile, or not smile. Optional.

But in church, everyone smiles. Why? Because everyone smiles. And here's the thing about a church smile you can spot from a mile away. It's the physiology of it. It's not a full smile, nor is it a smirk, but sits somewhere in between. If your spouse saw that same smile directed at them, they'd ask you if anything is wrong. It's a smile, but it's not a natural smile. It is one you can sustain for days if a church service should ever last that long. And usually there's no teeth showing in a church smile. It's more than a grin. It's like a smile that wants to be born, but doesn't want to exert the effort to fully come into the world.

One thing that would end the church smile in an instant is if everyone had a small mirror attached to their back. You could look into that mirror and see how you look wearing your church smile. You'd realize it's not your hair you have to brush back, or your tie that needs straightening. It's that thing on your face you thought was a smile. At that point, you have two choices. Stop smiling, or smile like you mean it.

While you all can recognize what I'm talking about, and while it may even bring a smile to your lips (yes, the pun was intentional), imagine how Jesus might respond to your church smile.

I can see Him smiling back at you, or me, then stopping, turning around, walking back toward you. When He reaches you, He taps on your shoulder. You turn around, look into His eyes, and in that moment you recall that Jesus spoke very strongly about insincerity, especially when outward behavior was designed to create an impression that did not match the heart. His usual word for this was hypocrisy.

In that instant of eye contact, Scriptures come into your mind: "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people's bones and all uncleanness. So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness" (Matthew 23:27-28, ESV).

You realize a person's exterior could be pleasant, respectable, even religious, while the interior is entirely different. He could be talking about you. And then another verse comes to your mind: "This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me" (Matthew 15:8, ESV).

Your head clears. Jesus is still there looking at you. He's smiling. He still loves you, and He just taught you a lesson you didn't know you needed.

You blink your eyes, and He's gone, but the lesson stays with you. You understand now that He never asked you to stop being polite. You can smile at someone you don't much care for and call it obedience, not hypocrisy. Self-control still counts for something. But you also understand He was watching for something else: whether the smile on your face was telling the truth about what was in your chest. Ordinary courtesy was never the problem. Using a smile to make someone believe you're loyal, or glad to see them, or trustworthy, when you're none of those things, that's the thing He kept warning people about.

So the next time you pull into the church parking lot, you've still got the same two choices you had at the mirror. Stop smiling, or smile like you mean it. Only now you know Who was actually watching your face, and it was never really the greeters.